Am I less of a man if I’m in debt?

superbuckThere’s a dirty little word called “debt” that has brought many a man to tears and shame. You might not see it because no man boasts of it. “Hey, I’m 5k dollars in credit card debt” – boasted no one ever. This is not the same as saying with pride that you purchased a home. But debt never starts as debt – no sir, it doesn’t – debt is really a subsidiary of something that companies love to tease men with, and that something is called “credit.”

Yes, many retailers have their clerks well trained to offer customers a credit card at checkout. It’s so easy, just a few pieces of information and within minutes you have thousands of dollars in credit. The same applies to your mailbox, offers for visa platinum cards flow freely week after week. You don’t even have to ask, they practically shove it in your face.

Man versus Debt, the Ugly Truth

The truth is, once credit is used it immediately turns into debt. Don’t let it fool you. Spent credit always turns into debt.

Companies know human nature, and instant gratification is a trait that coincides perfectly with credit. When a man can whip out a credit card and make a sizable purchase, isn’t there an ego thing? A feeling of power in this? “He’s got an American Express Black Card!” But here’s the ugly truth, there’s also repercussions when the bills start coming in.

Having to much debt can be debilitating for a man. The stress and anxiety can be overwhelming when debt outpaces income. Bad debt turns into bad credit, and soon you are stripped of your purchasing power, now being hounded by collection agencies. This is no fun. You won’t be able to use your credit card to buy them off.

Now, the question remains – Am I less of a man if I’m in debt?

Your manhood is definitely threatened, but not from the sources you might think. Yes, society will try and use bad debt and bad credit to question your standing as a man, but what really counts is what do you think and what will you do about your debt?

If you judge your manhood solely on your financial statement (income), then having bad debt will weight heavily on how you feel. It can almost get to the point of paranoia. In your mind you’ll think people are talking about your downfall, even if they’re not. In your mind your self-worth will be in question; it’s in your mind that the battle of manhood takes place when debt becomes an issue.

As a man you should be responsible with your finances and take control of your credit. But you aren’t less of a man if you make a mistake. I’d suggest you might be less of a man if you do nothing about it. Life is all about learning from our own mistakes and the mistakes of others.

Using Your Energy to Solve the Problem

Debt is a part of a capitalistic society. Debt can be abused and debt can be used to increase wealth. Not many people can buy a home with cash, and in this case debt allows us to make this purchase. People lose their jobs, and when this happens debt becomes a problem. Using credit within your budget is smart. You can increase your assets. Buying too much car or house is not smart. Trying to attain manliness through purchases that are ill advised shows you are not a responsible man.

Here’s the key. Flipping the switch on bad debt, and all it brings into question about whether you’re less of a man or not, is channeling your energy on solving the problem and then learning from the experience. Bad debt can be the result of circumstances out of your control, or you could have simply spent to much – either way your credit is damaged. If you allow family, friends, and bill collectors to influence how you think about yourself, you’re doomed. Learn from your mistakes and be a responsible man.

Many famous people have had financial problems, gone bankrupt, and emerged from the ashes to regain their status again, so can you.

If you focus your efforts to overcome debt by becoming a better man – a responsible man – then you are not less of a man…you’ll be more of a man. Don’t let debt define who your are.

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  1. “If you focus your efforts to overcome debt by becoming a better man – a responsible man – then you are not less of a man…you’ll be more of a man. Don’t let debt define who your are.”

    Pretty much sums up my thoughts on the matter!

  2. I don’t know if I ever felt like less of a person when I was in debt. But, I do know that it was a very hopeless feeling. Once we paid off all of our debts, I vowed to never get back into debt. I never wanted to feel that way again!

  3. I don’t feel less of a woman because I have debt so I don’t think any man should either although I know in general, men seem to put a bigger emphasis on their income.

    • You’re absolutely right about that. I used to think that if I couldn’t provide for my future family that I must be less of a man. Even though I know this isn’t true it’s easy to think.

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