This is a post from Catherine at PlungedInDebt.com, where she shares her family’s story of emerging from and overcoming debt. She’s a regular contributor at numerous personal finance blogs and now she wants to bring her voice to women and why they need to be fearless, and mindful, when it comes to money. Do you want to Guest Post here?
Life is unpredictable, with never knowing what could possibly arise, it is so important for us women to be prepared for anything. Women need to learn to be fearless with their money. Fearless that if anything happened in life they would be prepared. Fearless that if your life’s plans don’t pan out the way you expected, you would be prepared. Fearless that if something happened, you would be ok.
Though it may take coaxing for some women, I think women are innately fearless. Yet, for some reason, money intimidates some women. Money is a very powerful tool and I think this power is what intimidates women, but it is so important that we as women face our fears when it comes to money and learn to deal with it on our own.
Stand on Your Own Two Feet
My mother taught me at a very young age that if I was unable to stand on my own two feet, then no one would be able to sweep me off my feet. What she meant was that if I was unable to take care of myself, in all aspects, then how could I expect to be prepared enough to be in a relationship with anyone else?
You can’t be ready for love and commitment if you don’t have a true understanding of yourself. If you don’t have a good grasp of your own finances, then you don’t have a full grasp of yourself. Before committing time looking for ”the one”, make sure you know who you are. Knowing who you, and your finances, are will set you up for a much better relationship when you do find one.
A woman’s prerogative in life should never be to find a partner that will take care of them, especially financially. This may never happen. Look out for yourself only, and if a relationship comes along you’ll be ready.
Money, or lack of communication about money, is a huge reason why relationships fail. Starting a relationship with a strong understanding of your finances, and having a fearless attitude about money, will set you up for much more successful relationships.
Prepare For The Worst
No one ever embarks on a marriage or long-term relationship with failure in mind. While having great communication skills will go a long way, some relationships do ultimately fail despite efforts put forth. Fearlessness with your dollar means you don’t have to worry about the financial aspect of the relationship dissolution, and can concentrate on the grieving and healing processes. If there are children involved it is even more important to be prepared.
Children can feel stresses more than we as parents would like. Through preparedness and fearlessness with our dollar, we can concentrate on what is important and that is our children. If we have emergency funds set up, debts paid off (or at the very least under control) and access to our own money, we can breathe a little easier and not have to worry about how we are going to provide for our children.
Fearlessness means independence. It means not having to worry, and knowing how to take control of your money. Bringing fearlessness into a relationship may be a very helpful tool and having fearlessness about your money, in general, ensures your survival.
How Are You Fearless With Your Dollar?
[Photo credits: Bill Diodoto]
Great idea here. I agree that women need to be self sufficient before we even think about finding a partner. It makes me really sad when I see women who get divorced or lose a spouse and have no clue how the money works. I have a cousin who didn’t even know how much her mortgage payment was after her husband left her. I hope I never have to be alone, but I know at least financially, I’d be able to handle whatever comes my way.
That’s great that you highlighted that. Wow, maybe we should write on that very subject–what to do financially if you’re left out in the cold–from divorce. Gears are churning this very moment…look out for that one next month!
For me, it would have to be investing my own money in stocks. I think being fearless with your money is also about exploring new ways to make money. I like being in control of my finances, tracking everything. It gives me great satisfaction knowing exactly where my money is going.
Hmm that’s interesting. I saw an infographic on the rise of the female trader. It never dawned on me that women trade stocks significantly less than men. Is that b/c women are less risk adverse or are less likely to think about retirement?
I always assumed women and stocks were never a common thing. I haven’t outright asked, but I’m pretty sure my close girlfriends aren’t interested in stocks as much as I am. I guess I’m different from most women because I don’t mind taking on the risk and I think about retire constantly even though I have 30-35 years to go. 🙂
I agree whole heartedly, Catherine. I also agree with Karen – finding new ways to make money and to be financially stable, and trying those methods even though it may be untouched territory for you, is fearless. Also, the ability to admit to your mistakes and fix them.
I agree–the ability to face our mistakes and address them is fearless. Takes a lot of guts for some people!
I do agree I think it’s very important for a women to have the ability to be independent. However after she’s been swept off her feet and she has kids. I think it’s very important for her to be able to focus on raising the kids.
That’s interesting you mention that. I posted on my personal facebook a question to research for a future article–I asked women and men in two separate posts how a woman having a higher salary than the man affects relationships.
Men didn’t seem to care. It was women who really had strong opinions on it. Seemingly, single women were often adamant that the man make enough money to make up for the woman’s salary if she decides to be a stay at home mom.
Married women had different views altogether. The stated that they had husbands that lost jobs to layoffs, etc. What they truly wanted was a disciplined man who loves them and their kids.
What are you thoughts?